Comparison is a no-win play


Hi, it’s Hilary, and I like thumbing through Instagram…

(By the way, I’m @hilary.hendershott if we’re not connected yet – I’d love to connect!)

Instagram (and other social media platforms) can be amazing for getting new ideas, sharing stories, and growing your business.

But, there can also be a real struggle. The most obvious challenge is that it’s a visual medium – all pictures and videos.

And what do women do most often with a place like Instagram?

Post bod and bikini pics.

And if you aren’t 100% body confident, comparisons can infect your thinking easily and Instagram can turn into a big ‘ol vat of self-loathing.

I did it for years, but not anymore.

The real reason I can legitimately enjoy Instagram now is because a few years ago I stopped any scrolling that makes me feel bad about myself.

Now, I have an internal alarm that goes off loudly if I’m dangerously close to falling into the clutches of comparisons.

I’m quick to unfollow, close the app, even block and delete if I’m really feeling that pull!

We all know about this dark side of social media. We’re warning our adolescent daughters about it. Heck, we’re testifying to Congress about this danger.

But, we both know comparison is the thief of joy and the deliverer of sadness.

And yet, there’s a good chance you haven’t thought about the costs of comparing your business and your money to others as you scroll.

We’ve grown accustomed to making snap judgements about other business owners based on what we see in their social feed. It happens subconsciously!

  • How much is her business making?
  • Ooo, it looks like she’s recording this video from home. How much did she pay for her house? (*pulling up Zillow…)
  • Is her team bigger than mine?
  • What designer is she wearing on that podcast or webinar?
  • What video setup is she using? (I want to look like THAT on screen!)

Our brains can jump to instant conclusions – and that’s when we get stuck.

When we focus on comparisons, we come up short.

The topic of money can be just as sensitive a topic as body image, even more so for some.

Those comparisons you’re making, even subconsciously, can really bring you down.

Here are a few points that can help you stay out of the comparison trap as you scroll through social media this week:

Big brags, expensive toys, and pretty things don’t always mean someone is rich. They may just look rich.

What people look like from the outside really doesn’t tell you anything about their financial situation.

As a profits coach and wealth manager, I’ve literally seen the financials of thousands of business owners. Yes, their actual P&Ls and account statements. I’ve seen it all.

I can personally assure you, financial security is almost never present behind a beautiful brand and popular platform.

Even coaches who supposedly teach people how to make a ton of money are often not growing their personal net worth.

People don’t always show their true story. And, I hate to say it, but some people lie.

It’s not always a direct lie, but nine times out of 10, you don’t ever hear the full story.

There are many people living lavish lifestyles while secretly worrying every day about their bills.

Many people also exaggerate their success to impress you or feel better about themselves.

They may look rich but they’re actually the opposite and all the expensive toys just show you how high a tolerance they have for debt.

There is always more to the story than the front cover and everyone’s is different.

The act of comparing actually makes it less likely you can produce the magic you need to in your business.

When we compare ourselves to others and come up short, our brain subconsciously demands an explanation for our perceived shortfall.

  • “I’m a failure as a business owner.”
  • “I’ll never be as successful as her.”
  • “I guess she’ll always have a better life than me. She has that special sauce… I guess I just don’t have it.”

And then, of course we have an appropriate emotional reaction to such a terrible story.

Sadness. Grief. Disappointment. Frustration. Feelings of worthlessness.

This all happens so fast that we don’t realize what’s happening. And then we spend the first half (or more!) of the business day in that horrible emotional place.

(Been there, done that. Ugh.)

The real cost is it keeps us from being inspiring leaders. From making sales. It causes self-sabotage.

And if we’re not careful, it becomes a terrible, self-fulfilling prophecy.

So, let’s get you out of this destructive cycle!

How to stop comparing and start building wealth

One of the best ways to break free from comparison is to be conscious of what your brain’s telling you while scrolling and watching.

If you can’t stop your brain from disempowering you – unfollow! Stop reading! Close the book! Leave the room!

I promise, it doesn’t matter what you can learn from someone if paying attention to them makes you feel like crap.

Do your best to put on blinders. Remind yourself that everyone starts at zero, and every day everyone starts exactly where they are.

Turn the Comparison Trap into a Gratitude Moment

If you want to reach your financial goals, take the time you spend comparing yourself to others and invest it.

Turn that time into a moment of gratitude for what you do have – and what you will have when you accomplish your goals.

Your business and life will be so much more rewarding when you break free from comparison.

To your prosperity,



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