227 | Live Money Coaching: Increase Your Rates To Get Paid What You Deserve

Hilary Hendershott


Welcome to episode 227 of Love, your Money! Today, we’re back with a special Money Coaching episode that includes segments from a two-part coaching session with my client.


The reality is, many people struggle with charging the rates they deserve. There are tough questions that don’t always have easy answers. Questions like: What should I charge my friends and family? How do I communicate an increase in my rates? How do I know what the market rate that I should be charging is if I’m providing a better service?


In today’s episode, you’ll hear how I tackled those questions with one of my clients. You’ll walk away with a clearer idea of how to price your offers, how to win those negotiations, and how to raise your rates and keep your clients happy.


*Please note, to protect my clients’ identities and respect their privacy, I’ll be using pseudonyms for all money coaching episodes.

Here’s what you’ll find out in this week’s episode of Love, your Money:

  • Charging friends and family for your work
  • Setting the stage with my client’s goals
  • How to deal with financial “haters”
  • Pricing your offers
  • Tips for negotiating your prices
  • Handling your business and personal finances

Inspiring Quotes

“80% percent of people, in my experience, have massive money dysfunction.”

“I think, ‘My money is none of your business’ is a completely appropriate thing to say to someone who tries to hate on you.”

Enjoy the Show?

Hilary Hendershott: Back when I started my business, I mean, I was ready to do anything to build it. And I had friends and family specifically who I wasn’t charging, who were working with me. And at that time, I realized I pulled myself out to be a financial expert. But I’m working for my friends and family members for free. I was managing millions of dollars for them, and this would normally earn me tens of thousands of dollars a year. But I was torn. I mean, how could I even think about charging these people that I love? I didn’t have any clear thinking to answer that question, but at the same time, I also employed my sister, I mean, other women and my own sister, and I’m paying her real money. So, my family, my staff, and my family is earning real money from me. Real dollars travel from my business bank account into their bank accounts via their paychecks. And I don’t think they’re torn. My sister wasn’t torn about taking wages from me, again, her family. And good for her, more power to her, right?


So, I’m paying my sister a full wage, market wage, my team a market wage to work for my family and friends. And my family and friends weren’t paying anything. So, I’m giving stuff away for free, but it isn’t free to me. It’s not costing me time. It’s costing me money. And I finally thought, well, sh*t, there’s something wrong with this, right? And I interviewed a woman named Laura Roeder on my podcast back in 2016. She’s the founder of MeetEdgar, and I think she became a multimillionaire before the age of 30. She’s just really business savvy.


So, I was having this crisis of conscience. What do I do about this? And by the way, hosting a podcast is a great way to get to ask super successful people for advice on areas you’re not an expert on. I asked her about giving discounts to people she loves and she said, “Look, I will do business with friends, but there is a firewall, a boundary around my business.” She says, “In my personal life, if I’m sitting on your couch with a glass of wine, I will help you. I will give you advice. I’m at your service. But if I’m in my business, you’re paying my full rate. I won’t do any less for my business, which is a separate entity from me.” And I finally got that, how unsustainable the situation was.


So, then I went to my friends and family and I said, “Look, I need you to pay a market rate for the work that we do for you. We deserve it. We’ve done a ton of good for you, and it’s not sustainable if I have to continue to pay other people for your services. So, I’m changing the context of charging you from I love you so you shouldn’t pay to equitable trades is how we make this relationship sustainable and regenerative.”


You’re trading a service that’s worth more than what they paid for it, or they wouldn’t pay for it. There’s a transformation on deck of how people know and understand and listen to you, and you might consider bolstering the efficacy of that transformation by having that conversation with people proactively. I used to think this. The problem that I’ve run into is I’m 50 something and I don’t have any money saved. I’m now going to save myself. And in order to do that, I am getting into right relationship with money. And one of the things that means is I’m letting go of that charging you is a bad thing and leaves you worse off because it’s not. And it’s leading me to be under-funded. And I can’t be the intuitive that I want to be. I can’t be the woman I want to be the way things are.


And so, going forward there’s a firewall around my business. If I’m working for you, you’re paying. And I still love you. I love you dearly. And I love myself, too. And the balance of my bank accounts isn’t necessarily your concern, but it is mine. It’s my concern.


Nicole: My financial future is definitely in my face. Absolutely.


Hilary Hendershott: Right. And every time my experience is, of course, you know this too, every time you have that conversation, who you are for yourself alters, right? It’s like rebuilding it around you. It’s like, oh, I was made out of straw before I had this conversation 20 times. And now, I’m made of financial brick. Like, I know myself to be a different person around exchanging money for services.


Nicole: Yeah. And I want that confidence. It’s just a matter of fact, it isn’t personal. It’s not emotional. It’s just what it is. This is a business. I’m not doing this for fun, like I used to. I’m getting that sorted out and I’m seeing results and then I see– it’s like a dance though, it isn’t black and white. It is evolving…


Hilary Hendershott: Evolving process.


Nicole: Yeah, you’re right.


Hilary Hendershott: That’s why I’m here.


Nicole: Well, that’s right. And I went back and I was like, I said do one session a week. But I thought I’m just so grateful and so valuable. I really want to get through this piece, right? Because I can see this without this piece done, anything I do is going to keep me in that same old paradigm. So, the shift is happening. It’s transformative, but I do want to keep the transformation happening at 100%. So, I’m there, I’m doing it. But right now, I got to make sure I’m flesh. I need at least 5,000 a week. I need at least 20 grand a month just to do my little profit first program. That’s where I’m at and that my first goal is 20 grand a month. Consistent. And then I went to bump up to 30,000 a month from there. I try to get a half hour or an hour after I talk to you, just to journal, just to write everything I kind of like get in my download. So, I’m just seeing my paradigm shifting into I am a valuable commodity and I can’t get used up. They need to be in a way, respectful.


Hilary Hendershott: In an area where people already know that they desperately want help and that’s love, money, and health.


Nicole: Yeah.


Hilary Hendershott: That’s why chiropractors have such a hard time because everyone is not convinced that they need a chiropractor. And so, they not only have to sell themselves, they also have to sell chiropractic. It’s a hard business to be in, is selling what you actually do. And so, everyone’s already open to the idea of couples counseling. And so, this is like, no, no, no. Like, if the fodder is there, I’m going to have you stay together, right? And I’m an intuitive and I’ve been doing this. And I mean, that’s a differentiator. So, it’s a great place for you to start.


Nicole: Ok good. My goal is to get started mid-November. I want to get this training out of the way, and then I can start into this, launch into the podcast. But that’s my plan right now.


Hilary Hendershott: There will be more haters. So, what you’ve described, I would call that resistance, right? I’m talking about haters. People giving you advice, people telling you it’s not possible. And I mean you have enough hutzpah. I don’t think you’re going to cave, but the world will resist. Eighty percent of people, in my experience, have massive money dysfunction. And the idea of someone empowering herself, especially a woman, and saying, “No, I’m going to go make a mint,” I mean, people are just going to go, their brains are going to explode. So, just be prepared for that.


I, being a money coach, I might say something different than what you might want to say, but you can empower yourself with things like, I don’t know why my financial life is. You think it’s on the discussion table. Like, I have no idea why you think that’s okay to say to me or thank you, I got that you don’t think that’s possible. Thank you. I just don’t give people anything to resist. For me, I often say, “Well, if you want to fix that thinking, I can help.”


Nicole: I like that.


Hilary Hendershott: But just be prepared for that. I mean, I don’t know what you say to people publicly about money, but I mean, what’s been the reaction when you’re texting your clients? They’re generally mostly saying yes, some not responding, I imagine.


Nicole: I think everyone said, “Great.” I said, “Look, I’d raise my prices. It’s 200 instead of 150 for you. I just feel like it’s time. And I haven’t done this for a long time.” She said, “You’re entitled to do that.” She was fine with it. Not a problem at all. And again, everyone’s going to hit 200 to 250 and then we’re going to go up from there. And I’m just going to keep going up from there. So, within the next six months, I really would like to be 300 or 350, and I think I can pull that off.


Hilary Hendershott: Correct. So, you’re not positioning yourself at the top. Other intuitives are watching you so that they can start charging low rates. You’re now at the top. You’ve earned your stripes.


Nicole: But just in phrasing things or positioning things, just how you say it, like when you talk about things you do, just for example, what you just said was, I don’t know why my finances are a conversation for you. Like, that doesn’t even occur to me. It’s like people, because I don’t have a lot of boundaries, it’s what it is.


Hilary Hendershott: Yeah. So, that metaphor of the straw house turning into the brick house, it plays in multiple areas because yeah, you have to have huge boundaries. You have to develop them. And it starts with your speaking, because you can throw your hat over your fence with a statement that doesn’t feel natural for you to say, but saying it still has the same impact as if it felt totally natural for you to say. And I’ve certainly made some missteps, like there’s some things have come out of my mouth and I thought that was a little strong or that was a little off, but it’s okay, right? Like, I’m just noise to them anyway.


Nicole: Well, I think I don’t have a lot of boundaries. I mean, I say things to people, like you would just die. I mean, I’m pretty authentic and people know me for that. So, I mean, it’s really difficult sometimes for me to not to be in that boundary conversations or like…


Hilary Hendershott: I hear that as fully self-expressed. Why is that bad?


Nicole: Okay. Well, it’s just not too bad, but it’s like in this– and maybe I got to reposition it because I’m thinking I need to have a little bit more, like, if someone’s trying to hate on me or whatever and I might just say, “F*ck off.” Like, I don’t know that I’d be– I wouldn’t be nice about like, yourself, but you’re very nice. I’d be like, “My f*cking money’s not your f*cking business.”


Hilary Hendershott: Well, that’s your version of that. You’re iconic. I mean…


Nicole: I got you.


Hilary Hendershott: I don’t hear anything that I think would repel money. I think my money is none of your business is a completely appropriate thing to say to someone who tries to hate on you whose fundamental communication is you shouldn’t want that or that’s not possible for you. Get out of my energy. Just know that right now, you’re the only one on the planet, except for me, standing for your wealth. And so, I have this thing that I do. You’re probably better at it than I am, but when I’m afraid, I’m going to say something to please them or not say my whole truth. I close my eyes and I imagine myself holding on to the third rail of truth. Like, only words that are about to come out of my mouth are what’s true.


And I don’t mean like my opinions or my reactions, right? Like, I’m just not going to do that. Hilary, will you pay to do this? Will you come to this event? No, no, no reason. No, I can’t, right? So, I’m sure you have a skill set like that. You’ll find your way. And you just have to mentally, emotionally, spiritually, energetically, I have this place in me that is my net worth. And I’m like, this action, this activity is going to grow my net worth or I’m not doing it.


Nicole: Yeah. I just don’t have time to waste. And so, I do think right now, looking to get this podcast going, she’s talked about weaving in. Initially, we share some things for free, but you have to have a membership to get the rest of the video or the rest of the client, whatever.


Hilary Hendershott: Okay. Let me ask you a few things. And I know I can just ask you a question. There’s nothing going on about it. When I look at you, you’re going to do audio, no video. You said no. I don’t know about the membership idea from Christy. A membership is a whole ‘nother job for you and it requires a bunch of admin, so you need landing pages, portals. People are going to be like, “What’s my password?” I mean, like, I don’t know that that’s right for you in the beginning if we price your sessions correctly and we get that show, we get everyone in your– who knows you already, listening and referring a friend. I think people will come in for your sessions and you’ll just be earning full price, and then you’ll figure out what people are buying. And then you could do a membership.


Nicole: Probably what I need from you is I think start with entry level and then you get bigger, I get that. What are my offerings? Like, what am I offering? I do think I need to figure out something that works for me.


Hilary Hendershott: My suggestion is you said, you had time allocated this weekend. I would trust what comes out of you when you’re in a place of being connected to that which you are connected to. So, let’s see what comes out of you in terms of an offer where you feel like you can make. And it maybe in terms of an entry level that we start charging more like a therapist does. So, they pay that week versus paying up front. But there’s going to be a hockey stick with you. So, when the podcast starts happening and people start hearing you talk, your confidence, your uniqueness, your connectedness, your intuitiveness, there’s going to be a hockey stick. So, we want you making money. We don’t want you to set your price so high at the beginning that people go, who is this person? I love her, but I just can’t…


Nicole: Can’t afford?


Hilary Hendershott: No, no, it’s not like I can’t afford it. It’s her promise is too big, I don’t yet know that my investment will pay off. Anyone will pay $5,000 to rescue their marriage. Anyone. Why? It’s crazy not to. We’ll look at, in the beginning, we want something that you can evolve and reprice. So, you don’t say the price on the show. You say it’s affordable or you say it’s worth what you pay for. Come to do my intake form. I mean, come up with an invitation. But maybe it’s just in how you price. So, I ask for $1,500 up front. You had to trust me to do that. And before you saw me speak, you never would have paid me money. You didn’t even know me, right?


Nicole: Correct. That’s right.


Hilary Hendershott: But the podcast is how people get to know you. And so, I stand up and I share as much as I can share. I share my shame, I share my regret, I share my passageway, I share my learnings. And then you either like me or you don’t.


Nicole: Yeah. I get that. I can do that. I do think there needs to be kind of like, and I’m okay with a starting price. Like, an hour and a half session at 350, I think, is a pretty fair price. How do you feel about that? Meaning, I think it works for me and…


Hilary Hendershott: You ask for 90 days. I ask you to stay with me for 90 days. We’ll talk about pricing. Just have it be enough because you’re the one leading the session. So, it’s super different from anything they’ve ever heard. Okay?


Nicole: I love that. Thank you. Thank you, thank you, honey. You’re amazing.


Hilary Hendershott: Your brain starts working about episodes. You want to start practicing, recording them. It doesn’t matter. You can have a 20-minute episode and a 50-minute episode and a 70-minute episode and then a 10-minute episode. It doesn’t matter. People love you. They’ll listen to everything you air.


Nicole: Awesome. Thanks so much. Have a great day. I’ll see you soon.


Hilary Hendershott: Okay.


Nicole: Bye.


<Next Coaching Session with Nicole>


Nicole: Every time we talk, it’s like, oh, there’s new ways of– I feel like I just raise the bar and just elevate it up. And while I was doing my notes before our call and I’m really sitting with, like, people will call me a crisis or, oh, I need help, and I’m okay, I’ll jump in and save the day. And that’s been literally 30 years of that. And now, I’m thinking, you know, I don’t need that excitement or that, oh, I’m valid, I want it, I need it. It’s like, no, if you want to work with me, you need to make some promises. And I need at least three months. I need 90 days with you at least, and maybe a year. I’m looking to create longer offerings, not just one off an hour here, an hour there, yeah, like I’m establishing myself as an expert.


And I can’t really do, I mean, I can pull miracles out of my ass, but I don’t want to keep doing them and I want them to generate themselves not just to be calling me when they’re in a panic moment. It’s like I’ve known you for years. We’re not just going to keep doing this little panic. So, that’s kind of where I’m sitting, I feel like I’m in the meantime, like, before I really do present to the world and like the world just to see who I am in my offerings. And I think I’ll be flooded.


Hilary Hendershott: I think you’re right. And this whole people who call you in crisis thing, I mean, it surrounds you with people in crisis. It doesn’t give you any quality time with people. I mean, you end up being this sort of cul de sac where people come into crisis and maybe get out of crisis and it also impacts your brand because it’s how people think of you.


Nicole: I want people that are up to big things in life. It’s what I want. I want those people that have worked through their initial kindergarten era of crisis and they’re sentient, they’re awakened, they’re ready for real growth.


Hilary Hendershott: You’re just completely like a different person.


Nicole: Thank you. And that was you.


Hilary Hendershott: You look the same. You have the same power. But all the words that come out of your mouth are different. This is great to hear you reflect to me, my listening of you in the realm of money is like, wow, thank you for not blocking it.


Nicole: And you do feel acknowledged, yeah, because you really…


Hilary Hendershott: Yeah.


Nicole: Okay, good. It is in your clearing. I’ve said this before, you’re in the clearing for this.


Hilary Hendershott: I’m always a bit shocked when I’m so clear. Like, I say to people, I can help you and they’re not interested. It’s like, okay, I can’t care more about your money than you do. So, what I see is money exploding like a mushroom cloud in 2024. So, I usually get into the nitty-gritty with my clients, but I think you’re not a nitty-gritty person.


Nicole: You tell me, don’t do that, I won’t do it. And I’ll be in communication of why.


Hilary Hendershott: Are you familiar with my growth challenge?


Nicole: Maybe. I can’t remember.


Hilary Hendershott: Hey, here’s what I want you to do. I’m asking you to do between now and the end of the year. We’re going to totally transform your relationship to asking and hearing no. I am inviting you to take on. And I’m a spreadsheet and tracking person. I don’t know if you are, but the nuts and bolts of the growth challenge is to go ask for things so many times and ask for things you wouldn’t normally ask for, the goal of the whole challenge is to hear no 100 times. I invite you to consider you’ll never get to 100 because you’ll hear yes so many times that you didn’t think you would, right? We don’t ask because we assume, I’m putting them out. They can’t say no. I don’t want them to feel obligated. I don’t want to take from them. That’s too much to ask for. It’s all bullsh*t, right? It’s all bullsh*t. You got to trust people to say no when the answer is no.


And then, they’ve done a lot of research on this, but the most effective way to ask is to always have an explanation. So rather than can I have a discount on my cup of coffee, would you give me 10% off because I turned 50 yesterday, or would you give me 10% off because I’ve been here every day for 30 days? It really doesn’t matter what the reason is, but the likelihood that people will give you, I mean, and we’re talking about a sort of silly request. And in the, in the case of, let’s just say creating a plan for a client, we might want to have a little chat about what you’re going to propose. But in a case like that, it’s more like a negotiation. You want to go in knowing your target number and the lowest number you’ll accept, right?


Just like buying a car. I’d like to pay 20,000. I will pay 23,000, but I’m not going to tell the salesperson that in the beginning of the negotiation. The way I got this lesson so hard, I sold my Lexus IS 350. I put it up for sale on the street. This guy came. He said, “I really like it.” And it was listed at $10,500. And he said, I’ll pay you seven. And so, where do you go from $10,500? You go down from $10,500. And I’m like, how about 10? He said, how about $7,500? I don’t know what we ended up at, but I said to my husband, “I really want at $10,500.” He said, “Then you should have listed it for 13.” Always start higher. And that’s sort of the quintessential place where we do negotiate. But just try on, everything is negotiable. Everything. Everything, right?


And with you and your courage and willingness to take stuff on, I really, honestly think this practice is going to just blow you away. The things you’ll be able to have, the interactions you’ll have, it’s just going to gobsmack you. Okay, so that’s for you until the end of the year, although I really think you should never stop.


Nicole: Yeah, I like it. I like it.


Hilary Hendershott: And then, so in my role when we analyze businesses, I always want to see the books. Do you keep business books?


Nicole: QuickBooks, yeah.


Hilary Hendershott: You do?


Nicole: I do.


Hilary Hendershott: Okay. So, you’ve been having lots of new design conversations. You’re raising your prices. Is that money flowing into your bank accounts yet? Or is this going to happening in ‘24?


Nicole: I’m about $1,000 more a week on average right now. Now, I can start really polishing the offers and creating the offerings to charge like the 90 days and the packages. I’m really getting present to, I got to come first. I got to be on the top of my checklist, and then I’ve got some, then I can really negotiate my world. But I haven’t been first in anything. Everyone else comes first. So, I’m looking at just again, if I’m the center of the universe in a way, if I’m the flame, not the moth, I got to get this flame bigger. And what I can see is pulling that energy toward me, metaphorically and literally.


Hilary Hendershott: I agree. Let’s circle back to the idea of your books. Get it in 2024. It would be great for you to hire a bookkeeper. How are you at separating business expenses from personal expenses?


Nicole: Getting better.


Hilary Hendershott: Getting better? Are you clear what’s a business expense and what’s not?


Nicole: I am.


Hilary Hendershott: Okay. And how do you handle your money? Do you have separate accounts for business and personal?


Nicole: Yep. I created all that with my bank.


Hilary Hendershott: Okay, great. Okay, in 2024, we’ll want to get you on a regular. We want to auto transfer out of your business accounts into your personal accounts, so you have an income, a consistent income, because you are the flame. And the flame needs oxygen, baby.


Nicole: Thank you.


Hilary Hendershott: Yeah. It will begin to put some foundation. We want to have that financial foundation underneath. As the money starts to get bigger, we want to have a plan. Each dollar gets a job, kind of a thing, and right away get you saving a portion of your increased income.


Nicole: I’m still kind of packaging myself, like, branding myself. That’s kind of what I think is next. I can see the offerings. I can wordsmith them, not describe them necessarily, but discover, like people in here that kind of discover something for themselves. I got to work. That takes time to kind of work through its hard work.


Hilary Hendershott: So, yes, when you have your magical assistant, your supporter, your enabler, this person who’s going to come work with you next year, you want this person to be able to make the offers as well, right? You want to be able to put him or her on the phone with your prospective clients. You come in, you do an assessment. You say, “Thank you very much. My assistant will contact you.” You walk out the room. You say to that person, “It’s package number four.” He or she walks into the room or the Zoom call and says, “It’s going to be a six-month minimum and the cost is $100,000.” So, you are no longer talking money with them, just like the plastic surgeon does not talk money with you. And that’s appropriate for you. It’s not appropriate for me, but you want that person.


And so, in order to enable that person, you want kind of a menu of services and not to constrain you. It may be that you’ll point at the six-month package for some families, and you’ll say it’s not $100,000, it’s $70,000 or it’s $125,000 or whatever it is. So, it’s not to constrain you. It’s just so that not everything is up in the air. You want some bounce.


Nicole: Yeah, I get that. Okay, good. But I agree with you, I think there needs to be a package. And I’ve got to kind of probably, I need to scale up my office. Like, I need to kind of have my space represent the brand, how my people present well, right? So, even my image, I’m saying I want to raise the bar everywhere. My image, the clothes I wear, I haven’t shopped for myself literally in years. Okay. All right. So, level up, so my 2024 again, there’s a level-up everywhere. That’s what I see. So, asking, receiving, raising, and really like, I want to transform families and I want to have those people on the podcast talking about, I mean, I’ve never seen anybody bring in a family and talk about their results on a podcast.


Hilary Hendershott: Okay, I think we’re off to a good start. I do want to start seeing numbers, but I also don’t want to encumber you by asking you for bookkeeping reports. But I think it’s important for you to get into a routine, so it’s not like, sh*t, Hilary, I have a quarter million dollars in my business bank account and I got no idea how much of it is already spent, right? Like, never doing budgeting by bank account balance. I just want you to be empowered with that. So, is it easy for you to send me a P&L?


Nicole: Yeah. Oh, yeah, I can do that. I’ll do that. I can do that once a month if you want. And for the time we have left, I can do that, yeah. I’ll just email it to you.


Hilary Hendershott: Email it to me before the sessions and then we can review and talk about them.


Nicole: Okay. Done. All right. Thank you so, so much. Thank you.


Hilary Hendershott: All right, my love.


Nicole: Love you. Thank you so much, girl. Good luck.


Hendershott Wealth Management, LLC and Love, your Money do not make specific investment recommendations on Love, your Money or in any public media. Any specific mentions of funds or investments are strictly for illustrative purposes only and should not be taken as investment advice or acted upon by individual investors. The opinions expressed in this episode are those of Hilary Hendershott, CFP®, MBA.


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